Hi, my name is Mark. I’m a construction worker. Nine months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. I really thought that she was “the one.” We’d been together for 3 years and I thought things were going well. Sure, we were doing the long-distance thing for about 6 months, but it was only supposed to be short-term, while I was on this contract.
I really didn’t like writing this stuff down. It made it almost more real for me to see how much I still really miss Jessica. It took a few cracks before I could do it completely, but I want to get better, so this is what I got.
I have to say I was a little skeptical about this mindfulness business….it seemed a little namby-pamby to me. Why would I actually want to tune into what I’m thinking, since it’s so miserable? Nonetheless, I want to feel better so I figured I’d suspend my judgment and give it go. I decided to try it while I went for a run in the park.
Midway check-in
I looked over my goals today – having them written down and on my fridge has been helpful in reminding me first thing everyday of what I’m working towards. It’s particularly helpful on those days when I’m feeling a bit more down. I’m pleased to say that there has been some progress with my goals.
The homework was hard on some days. I didn’t particularly like writing out my thoughts because they were so depressing, it almost made me more depressed to read them there in black and white. Finding evidence that countered my thoughts was sometimes tough, as well.
| My EDB | Possible Opposite Action |
| Watching TV all weekend. | Call a friend to go out, go out for a walk. |
| Sleep or stay in bed. | Set the alarm and get out of bed, regardless of how I feel, and make coffee. |
| Make up excuses to go out with people. | Actually try to go. |
This one didn’t really do much for me since I don’t really have any problems with anxiety.
It felt really weird to write “going on a date,” initially, but then again, I noticed I had a little feeling of excitement…perhaps I am on the road to recovery.
So, one day, I just decided to take the leap and spend a day cooking things that my ex-and I would cook together (this was one of the things that we loved to do together). It actually really wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I had feared that the smells would get me reminiscing about old times and would make me feel really sad.
So, I pulled out my goals and I was surprised by how far I’d come in only a couple of months.
1) Start going out with friends again – go to some ballgames like I used to (once a month)
